Another humorous piece from our talented storywriter, AJ Emmanuel
Enjoy the episode 1 of House Of Baba Sodiq
(On a bright Monday morning, different activities were being done in front of a brown bungalow, popularly called the House of Baba Sodiq. Mothers were bathing their children while the other children were in tears as they run from the soaps and sponges in the hands of their frustrated mums. Some distance away, a young lady could be seen with potty in her hands singing as she walked out of the passage to the toilet located at the back of the house. On getting to the toilet, she poured out the content in the potty without checking if someone is inside.
MAYOR: (Shouted from the toilet) Who be that fool wey pour piss for my body?
LIZZY: (Surprised) Person dey inside?
MAYOR: (Came out angrily) You dey mad? Why you no fit knock before you pour that thing inside. Why una like to dey do like person wey dem don use do ritual for this house na?
LIZZY: (Fired back) Who you dey talk say dem don use do ritual? Abi this one dey craze?
MAYOR: See me see wahala, she still dey vex for me. You pour piss for my body instead of you to be begging you still dey get mouth.
LIZZY: Abi God wan punish this guy for me, wetin I dey talk self, God go punish you. Mad man.
MAYOR: See this prostitute o, thunder fire you and your client.
LIZZY: (splashed the remaining urine in the potty on his face angrily)
(Mayor got very angry and then rushed angrily towards Lizzy and slapped her hard on the face. Things got messy and they both started fighting. The people around were quick to intervene. They separated them before the fight got out of hand.)
1st MAN: What is going on here now?
MAYOR: (Furiously) Make Una leave me, let me deal with this prostitute.
2ND MAN: (Tried to calm mayor) Mayor calm down now.
LIZZY: Make Una leave am jare. (To mayor) If they born you well come touch me, you go reach heaven come, idiot.
MAYOR: (Manage to free himself from the men that held him and then rushed towards Lizzy) You don die today oo.
LIZZY: (On seeing the landlord, she ran behind him) Help me oo, he wan kill me oo.
MAYOR: (Still on the pursuit) You wait for me make I catch you.
BABA SODIQ: Ah ah Mayor, do you want to beat her while I am here.
MAYOR: (Reluctantly) Baba landlord!! Leave me make i teach this prostitute lesson wey she no go forget in her lifetime.
BABA SODIQ: (To Lizzy) What happened exactly?
MAYOR: Baba landlord, you can’t believe say this bastard po….
BABA SODIQ: (Cuts in) Shut up jare. Did I ask you to explain. (To Lizzy) what happened jare.
LIZZY: Thank you oo Baba landlord. I come out this morning to pour the piss wey I do for midnight away o, I no know say he dey inside the toilet….
MAYOR: (Angrily cut her off her words) Why you no fit knock before you pour am?
BABA SODIQ: Mayor, I’m warning you oo. (To Lizzy) So you poured the urine on him?
LIZZY: Yes Baba landlord, but I tell am say make he no vex oo say na mistake but him just dey rant like person wey dem don use him head exchange plastic.
MAYOR: Na me you dey talk to like that abi?
BABA SODIQ: Shut up, I’m sure she told you sorry, why can’t you just accept the apology and move on, you are now constituting nuisance in my house.
MAYOR: So na wetin you go talk be that abi. Na so dem dey settle matter, you this u…
WOMAN: (Tried to calm mayor) Mayor calm down, just leave am, just walk away.
BABA SODIQ: No oo, leave him, do you want to come and beat me? come and beat me now. In fact before next week I did not want to see you in my house again.
MAYOR: Who wan stay for your useless house before, house wey be say you inherit am.
BABA SODIQ: Go and build your own now, you this useless child. (He left the scene with Lizzy)
1st MAN: Just take it easy Mayor, you can still go and talk to him later. (He also left with the remaining onlookers.)
MAYOR: (Perceive the odour from his body) Omo see as I dey smell, make I go wash myself. (Entered the bathroom.)
Somewhere in Ikorodu, Lagos, Nigeria
(A two-storey building can be seen, painted in white colour. A young guy entered the compound as he went to the back of the house, where a boy-quarters is located and painted in the same colour as the two-storey building. He enter the room without knocking.)
LEKAN: (Happily) Mummy good afternoon
MAMA LEKAN: Good afternoon dear, ah ah, wetin dey make you happy
LEKAN: Mummy, guess what?
MAMA LEKAN: What is that?
LEKAN: Guess na. (Pouting)
MAMA LEKAN: Lekan, stop all this jare, what happen?
LEKAN: Fine, I already got the admission!
MAMA LEKAN: (Surprised) Seriously? ah thank God ooo, so my son will go to school. Shey na the same LASU you dey go?
LEKAN: Yes ma.
MAMA LEKAN: (Singing) See the way you love me
See the way you care for me
You carry my matter for your head oo
LEKAN: (mood change) But mama, how are we going to get the school fees, it is quite expensive.
MAMA LEKAN: Wetin be quite again, you don start your grammar.
LEKAN: Mummy! I mean, the school fees is very expensive, how are we going to get it.
MAMA LEKAN: Don’t worry my son, I just want you to face your studies, God will do it. (Seriously) Know the son of whom you are oo Lekan, God no go shame us.
LEKAN: okay ma, thank you ma.(Hug his mom)
MAMA LEKAN: (Disengage from the hug) you don eat?
LEKAN: (Shake his head)
MAMA LEKAN: Oya go to the kitchen, you will see your food in the pot.
LEKAN: Okay ma. (He left for the kitchen)
Watch out for Episode 2